So far, I’ve only recounted conversations that I have had with my mom but my dad is pretty hilarious too. His humor tends to be deliberate while my mother’s funny moments are usually quite unintentional.
Recently, the two of them took a mini-vacation to St. Augustine, FL which is just a few short hours from where they live. It’s a picturesque town with lots of old buildings, museums and cute little stores. They spent a lot of time shopping, my dad mostly in a place that sold die-cast planes, trains and automobiles, my mom everywhere else. Among other things, she purchased a wrap — my father had another definition for it.
Dad: Your mother bought a shawl.
Me: Do you mean a pashmina*?
Dad: Yeah, sure.
Me: Don’t call them shawls. Shawls are things that little old ladies wear.
Dad: Whatever. It’s a rag that she puts on.
*And yes, I realize that pashmina is a type of wool, not an article of clothing. So technically, it would be a pashmina shawl but ..whatever! Shut up.
Just so there is no misunderstanding, my dad is wildly in love with my mom. She could wear actual rags and he would still consider her the most beautiful woman in the world. He’s simply not into pashminas, just as she isn’t into Mustangs.
But if they ever came across a Mustang draped in a pashmina? Their love for each other would LEVEL UP, yo. Actually, I would prefer for this scenario to never, ever happen — not because I don’t want the love my parents share to increase but because I think they would start having weird old-people sex in the car while wrapped in a pashmina. No thank you!