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I created this blog a few months ago but didn’t reeeeeally start using it regularly until the past few weeks. Although it’s only been a short while, I have already learned some very valuable lessons:

1. Perhaps I should have picked a blog name that was easier to spell.
On any given day, some of my top referrers will be WordPress we-ain’t-findin’-what-you-be-lookin’-for-are-you-sure-you-spelled-it-right-dumbass? pages. Whirligig-a-gogo has been typed as: whiriligigagogo, whirligigigogo, whirlagigagogo, ehirligigagogo and whirligigagoga.

Whirliwoogaboogawhatnow?

So close and yet so far. I feel this is a good time to explain the story behind my carefully thought out decision to name this blog Whirligig-a-Gogo.

I was sitting around doing something fabulous and awesome when I decided that I should start blogging about my fabulousity and awesomeness.  Being very excited to get going, I just went with the first random thing that popped into my head as far as blog names go. Whirligig-a-Gogo. How’s that for some profoundly deep meaning?

I actually have a history of rash, impatient decisions coming back to haunt me on the web. No, I am not talking about porn (it was art, dammit). Just stuff like how my first AIM handle was drtyglttr (dirty glitter seemed like a such a fun and nifty idea at the time; it never occured to me that it sounded like something a really trashy, low-rent stripper would smear on her boobs) and my first email address was mistress@____.org (I was going for web mistress but didn’t want to be so formal so I just went with mistress. It wasn’t until people started to ask me if I was into whips and chains that I saw the error in that decision). Live and learn! Or, in my case: Live and make the same mistakes repeatedly!

2. People search for weird things.
Part of WordPress’ site stats feature reveals the search terms that led people to this blog. Most of the these terms are pretty normal but some of you are really, really weird. No, seriously. What is wrong with you? Here are the stand outs:

cal arts nudity
I imagine that it was my CalArts FAQ and my recommendation that one take some (nude) figure drawing classes that matched this search term to my blog. I also imagine that my character animation frequently asked questions write-up was not what that person was looking for.

CalArts is a very naked place. It’s full of artists, actors and musicians who like to strip down as much as possible. The Halloween party is especially known for involving less and less clothing as the night progresses. CalArts’ nudity has even been reported on by the LA Times:

“CalArts held its initial classes in 1970 and, by all accounts, the early years were chaotic, marked by a no-grade policy and lots of nudity.”
(Note: Apparently, not a lot has changed since the 70s)

Did you know that Alison Brie of Mad Men and Community fame was a student at CalArts? She was probably naked there. A lot. All the Alison Brie fans reading this are now screaming ‘WHY DIDN’T I GET MY EDUCATION AT CALARTS? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHHHHY?!?!

Imagine this except naked-er

boob accessories
Clearly in reference to this post, I have to wonder what this person was actually searching for. Are there really accessories for boobs? Boob Bedazzler? Lee Press-On Nipples? Tutus for your ta-tas? I could Google it myself but I am kind scared of what I will discover.

itty bitty perky titties
This search term obviously also pointed them here and I have to think that the person was super disappointed that no actual pictures of itty bitty perky titties were involved. So, if they ever come back, this is for them:

Itty bitty titmouse! So perky!

do girls put things inside them?
Yes, Mr. 13-Year-Old-Boy-Sneaking-On-The-Internet-While-Mom-Is-Not-Looking. We girls put lots of things inside us: Car keys. Loose change. Things like that. Also, here’s a tip for you: make sure to clear your browsing history when you are done with the computer. Your mother would be appalled. APPALLED.

selfsex
I really have no idea which post attracted this search term. But sex sells so .. SEX SEX SEX.

whirligig ideas on how to make a german shepherd
This … I just don’t even know.

3. Make a few posts — and images — about women’s bodies and watch blog go BOOM.
So there was this offensive image floating around Facebook. It pissed me off. So I wrote about it. Even after getting that off my chest, I was still irritated about it so I made my OWN image. TAKE THAT, INTERWEBS! Up until that point, my daily pageviews were between 5 and 20 and I am pretty sure those pageviews came exclusively from my mother.

'You are SO talented!' -Mom

When I made my FUCK YEAH WOMEN ARE AWESOME posts and images, I did so with the explicit intention that people share it around because I thought it was a good message to get out there, an important push-back on the body shaming I’d been seeing lately. Honestly though, I wasn’t expecting much of a reaction. After all, I am one small voice in the cacophonous shout-fest that is the internet. However, the sentiment I expressed rang true with a lot of people (‘a lot of people’ being more than just my mom) and the images in particular got posted around on Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest and a subforum of Reddit. So I went from 20 daily pageviews to 400, 500, 800, 1000+ per day! Yowza! I have no idea if that is an impressive number — all you big, fancy bloggers are probably laughing your asses off at my piddly 1,000. In fact, I imagine this mighty guffaw takes place in your special Scoffing Room in your mansion made from diamonds that you bought with the money that rains down on you every time you make a post. However, I know that my 1,000 pageviews can’t all be from my mom so to that I say: yaaaaaaaaaay.

THANKS, GUYS!

4. People prefer shorter posts.
Oops.