There’s a photo that has been making the rounds on my Facebook news feed lately:
This image is ridiculous
This isn’t the first of its kind; there have been other pictures in the same vein. They hold up a skinny woman against a curvy woman and declare the latter as The Winner™. Usually, someone posts one of these images with an emphatic ‘THIS‘ and ten billion people reply with variations of ‘That top row is gross!‘, ‘Curves are way better!‘ and ‘I’d rather stab out my eyeballs with a shard of broken glass than have to look at those skinny bitches!‘ These pictures are supposed to be empowering! These pictures are supposed to be a rallying point for people to make a stand against the media’s definition of perfection! These pictures are supposed to be a wake up call to the dangerous direction our society’s standard of beauty has gone!
Except they’re not.
The media has been telling women that if they’re not skinny, they better hope that they have a great personality to fall back on because there is no way that anyone will find them attractive. Ever. That’s pretty fucked up. You’ll get no argument from me that that is something to stand up and fight against. However, when your weapon of choice is a picture like the one above, what are you saying? You are, in essence, saying the exact same thing: If you are [insert physical trait here], then you are ugly. These ‘better than’ pictures are just as harmful to ladies as is the media’s insistence that skinny is the only form of beautiful. They are just another slam on women, a way to tear us down, divide us and tell us that we aren’t good enough.
Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and personalities. To hold up one above all others is wrong. But Nina, you might say. Curvier people have it tougher and we deserve to toot our own horn! Toot away! You deserve to toot! If I had a great rack and shakeable hips, I would be tooting about them as well! But don’t do so at the expense of other women. Don’t become what you are railing against. How is saying ‘curvy is hotter than skinny’ any better than saying ‘skinny is hotter than curvy’? Or blonde is hotter than redhead? Or clear complexion is hotter than freckles? Or any of the many other things that are purely subjective? Leave this stuff up to the eye of the beholder. Actually, fuck the beholder — just love yourself. You don’t need third-party validation to tell you its okay to do so!
D&D got it right: the Beholder is bad news
So let’s take this division and apply it where it truly deserves to be: monarchs, body parts and scientists.
Elizabeth? Definitely hotter than Mary.
Knees? GROSS!
Theory of relativity is SO much sexier than quantum mechanics
So you know what? If you’re curvy, you are beautiful! If you’re skinny, you are beautiful! If you’re short, you are beautiful! If you’re tall, you are beautiful! If you’re X, Y and/or Z, you are beautiful!
But if you’re stupid? Well, you know. I’m sure at least your mom loves you.
Whirligig-a-Gogo 
Truth.
Word.
The media is tailored for women and mostly run by women. Magazines for women written by women, which most women endeavor to emulate by spending their paychecks on clothes, makeup, botox, etc. Men never asked women to be a size 0 or spend all their money. Women do this voluntarily in hopes of getting the best (richest) man possible, but they take advice from the worst source, other women.
And no, beauty doesn’t come in all shapes and sizes. So to the fat females out there, take the fork out of your mouth, hit the gym, and get to your recommended BMI.
Sorry that I missed this comment, it got tagged as spam for some reason.
I don’t disagree that women are complicit in their own gender’s body issues. It’s hard to say where it starts though. Certainly by the time we are adults, most of us have bought into the lie (at least to some degree) that appearance is the most important asset that we possess and are all too eager to tear each other down. But I don’t think we arrived at that conclusion on our own. For example, look at the toys children are given to play with: boys generally have toys that DO something. My nephews, they have trucks, cars, toy chainsaws, etc. The dolls that they have are ‘action figures’ — soldiers, super heroes and the like. Girls, on the other hand, are given dolls to dress up. Little girls are expected — and encouraged — to dream about their weddings, what dress they will wear, the guy they will marry, etc. They watch Disney movies where the goal of the princess is to marry a prince. We are groomed to do everything we can to catch a man.
So can women be catty about other women? Of course. But it is hard to say how much of that is nature and how much is nurture. It’s certainly something that we can actively try to change.
Also I disagree with your last statement. There IS beauty in everyone. It makes me sad for those who either can’t see it or won’t see it.
Impromptu paparazzi shots on the beach vs well-lit, posed, airbrushed professional studio shoots… hmmm. That picture isn’t even comparing like-with-like properly anyway, so perhaps an introduction of that sort of bias makes it even worse. They’ve actually gone out of their way to find expressly bad images to emphasise “these people are worthless”. That’s pretty bad.
And never mind that the bottom row is just as unattainable for most people as being skinny is. Only about 8% of women have an hourglass body type and there isn’t much one can do to change genetics. I wish more was done to celebrate different types of bodies rather than so much effort being wasted on in-fighting over which one is ‘best’.
i totally agree, but not just that — many of those women (well, not bettie in that shot but still) were corseted to attain that figure. we tend to forget.
Yeah, it’s easy to complain about today’s media and its effect on women but folks have been chasing a feminine ideal for a long time. I just read an article recently on Jezebel about corsets — http://jezebel.com/5877640/everything-you-know-about-corsets-is-false — and it is interesting how much of the concept of an ideal comes from women.
We need to stop doing this to ourselves! Jeez, ladies..
THIS.
Totally. TOTALLY.
Brilliant. Love it. *off to go and love myself* ;)
YES! Success! :D
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU hahaah least constructive comment ever but this has been driving me up the WALL.
Yeah, it’s pretty maddening. I called out this image but there were plenty of others before it. Every time, I would chime in on the Facebook post about how harmful the message actually was. Ultimately, I just got sick of saying the same thing over and over and took to my shiny new blog to rant long-form about it.
Heh!
I thought I was alone in this. Thank you for articulating it so well!
You’re welcome! And you are definitely not alone when it comes to this topic.
:) I’m doing my part to help your 1/19 post go viral. It’s so important!
Yay! Thank you! Spread the word!
Although, admittedly, it is an imperfect image. I wanted to stay close to the original offending graphic (above) but even my revised version has not been without controversy. Some people object to the people I used (universally good looking, regardless of body shape; young; possibly Photoshopped). Some people object to women being measured by looks at all. I will revisit the topic again some day and make an image that is less about body shape and body shaming and more about appreciating women for their talent, intelligence and wit!
I wrote about this, too. I’m so glad I’m not the only one critiquing this image, and I really like the one you made, too.
Yeah, this image is -absolutely- ridiculous. What has been surprising to me is the amount of people defending it even after it’s been pointed out how offensive it is to ALL women. Surprising and sad.
I was so frustrated by all the “thin vs curves” memes being posted on Facebook and did a Google search to see if anyone else shared my opinion on them. I found your post and picture, which made my day! Your post was a refreshing and thoughtful change of pace. Thanks for promoting a message that so often is forgotten. :)
I don’t like the “real woman” thing either. All women are real women… Period.
” If I had a great rack and shakeable hips, I would be tooting about them as well!”
Not necessarily . I have a great chest and I have hips, but I work out so my hips are not so shakeable . I like muscle tone abs and legs. Sometimes curves become bigger curves if you don’t work out.
Pingback: TEACH: #Fitspiration | Move Eat Teach