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Recently, I had the following conversation with my mom:

Mom: I saw The Help last night. It was really good! Did you know that Ron Howard’s daughter was in that movie? She played a real ‘b-word’.
Me: What do you mean, ‘b-word’?
Mom: You know what I mean!
Me: …beautiful?
Mom: No! Well, yes, she is beautiful but that’s not what I meant.
Me: Was she a real ‘See you next Tuesday’?
Mom: Huh?
Me: C. U. What’s the first letter of ‘next’?
Mom: C. U. N…?
Me: And what’s the first letter of Tuesday?
Mom: C. U. N. T. *pauses to work it out* Cunt!
Me: You will say ‘cunt’ with enthusiasm and vigor but you won’t say ‘bitch’?
Mom: Well, I was excited that I figured it out!

And rightly so, mom.

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